Thursday 23rd April 2015

Well. Today wasn’t the uttermost interesting thing ever I would say. I woke up at 6am and fell back asleep till 8am, screamed when Dad woke me up. I honestly got the biggest fright ever hahaha! Wore my hair in the ponytail I’d slept in the night before. I grabbed a bunch of bananas and put them in my schoolbag for lunch. I chucked my laptop and schoolbooks in too and after some toast and a touch of mascara I was out of the door. Met Ari, Floyd, Cory and Ruby out infront of the school. Ruby had just gotten back from Nepal so I decided to ask her how it was. Her awnsers were blank and werent really the sort of thing that keep a conversation going. She saw Eliza and ran off to see her. Double chemistry was first. Oh god. I sat in my normal seat between Ari and Jonika. Said good morning to Jonika but she gave me the vibe she usually does. She has this way of making me feel like I’m obsessed with her whenever I try to talk to her. She got up to get her books and dropped them all over the floor. “Good start to my day.” How would her day be possibly bad. She has more than enough, more than what a normal person would need… I laughed to confort her, and she gave me her vibe again. Agh. Ruby and Eliza sit across the desk from me in chemistry. Listened to them go on about Nepal and the guys that they met and were going to the ball with. I decided to smile at them but stay quiet as I didn’t want to day anything too introding or that would make me seem like an idiot. They think I’m dumb enough already. I try to listen to what Mr Lidgard is explaining… the whiteboard is blurry and I have no idea what he is talking about. I look over and tell Ari I’m going to sit up the frount because I have the shittiest eyesight. I have no idea what I am doing so instead of doing the work the teacher has given us I decide to read my textbook from the start and actually try to understand it this time. I try to distance myself from the real world as much as I can and focus on the words in the textbook. I then sit in iTime by myself as Aimee and Tiana are away at coaching clinic and Marlene left to go back to Austria last term. I listen to Eliza talk about Nepal to the teacher and how she bought a million pairs of hippy pants for like 5 dollars each… Morning Tea Time. I see Lotta, give her a hug walk outside and sit on a bench in the general area we’ve always hanged out in since this time last year. Atleast hanging out in this area is a whole lot better than when I first moved to Whitianga and was forced to sit in that dingy little spot by the drama room. I miss the spark I had in my personality before I moved to Whitianga. I feel like it came back when I got close with Jayden but has long burnt out now. Ruby, Cory, Eliza and Ari come and sit with us and I move to sit on the concrete so I can face everyone. Morning tea flies by as I sit on the concrete and listen to Ruby and Eliza talk to each other about Nepal. Inside jokes and secrets that the rest of us do not get but we have nothing better to talk about so we sit listening. The bell rings and I pack up my things and head to double calculus with Ari. I sit there confused as hell for most of the period. I have no idea what I am even doing. I probably understood about 10% of all that Mrs Boswell said in that whole two hours. It is lunchtime and we get up and decide to sit Ms Holmes class. Ari’s determined to work on her English. I decide to work on mine too. I got Ms Holmes to read through it and she said it was good and that I would get excellence if I perform it well. Good luck to me memorising the whole 4 pages of bullshit. I then had Health. Ari and I walk off and are the first ones to arrive. Soon enouhh everyone else arrives and we start learning about the influence that advertising has on different genders… Jaydens in that class. I find it so hard not to stare at him or to not avoid looking at him without him realising what I am doing. I don’t love him anymore. I need to get that to my heart. I don’t. I sit at a table with Ari and we make private jokes and giggle at our hilariousity. I love Ari. Shes defiently my best friend at the moment. Shes probably one of the only people I can fully count on. Probably one of the only people that I am close to that treats me like a friend should. I look over at Jazmin and Aaron and try to think what it would be like to be part of their group… I think I’m too much of a good girl to fit into that. I look over at Jonika and Cayden and imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship like they have. To be close with them. I wish I was. They seem like such cool people, but I feel like a try hard just trying to talk to them and I hate feeling like that. The home bell rings and I walk to Ari’s bus stop with her and stand with her, Cory, Floyd, Patrick and Ruby. I really don’t like Cory, Patrick or Ruby at the moment. They all treat me like shit and I have enough self respect now to tell aswell. I usedto think it was my fault that they treat me the way do, but really it’s my fault that I still associate myself with people that treat me like that. Ari says she’s going off to pee and I declare I’m going home because I really don’t want to stay at school a second longer. She runs up and gives me a big hug then Patrick tells me to wait up because he’s walking home with me. Okay then. Patrick goes up to Floyd and gives him a lil shoulder barge thing to say bye and I run up to Floyd and give him a friendly hug that kinda turns into an awkward hug. Owell. Patrick and I walk up the footpath, and I tell him about how shitty it was to have double Chemistry and double Calculus in the same day. He tells me that he had double Calculus too and tells me how easy he finds it. Oh god. He turns down his road and I continue walking down the road we were on to get to the apartment I live in. Blake is infront me on a fluro green bike. He’s circling Joe’s little brother in tight circles on his bike. Their obviously good friends. I think that downhill is one of the things I’m good at but then if I was to go with Blake, he who doesn’t even do downhill he would probably be better than me looking at the skills he has on his bike. Oh well. I remember the days just after I broke up with Aaron were I would do the paper run and Blake would be skateboarding down the road and talk to me while I went through my painfully boring job of handing out advertisement pamphlets to homes in my area. 90% of those homes probably throw them out when they got them but hey, I needed money… I finially arrive home and that is pretty much the events of my day. Slightly depressing but it could be worse. Hopefully tommorow takes a new turn.

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